You may recognize the title of Jane Austin’s novel. In some ways, this title could be a fitting description of what our society so lacks. We are living in a crude and crass time. Many women are so enamored by the feminist movement that they try to eclipse coarse men with vulgarity of their own.

What is it that makes one cultured? True culture and refinement come from the guiding influence of the Holy Scriptures.

However, too many of us have had our sensibilities desensitized by a life-long friendship with the world. We see so many things, hear so much filth, constantly view selfish, silly and crude behavior, witness so much violence and degradation that we have become acclimated to it – to some degree. Secular magazines for women propagandize the ideas that money and fashion are the marks of a woman of culture. And there is no denying that all these things have some effect upon us.

Even those steeped in sinfulness usually will agree that we ought to be holy and pure. Yet, their definition of morality may be completely opposite of the truth (cf. Titus 1:15-26). Isaiah pronounced a woe to those who call evil “good,” and good “evil,” and darkness for “light,” and light for “darkness” (Is. 5:20).

Many times we have a difficult job helping people to learn what biblical purity and holiness are. Why is this the case?

The answer is found in Ephesians 4:17-19.

“This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye no longer walk as the Gentiles also walk, in the vanity of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardening of their heart; who being past feeling gave themselves up to lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.”

We notice the mind-action connection. Those who walk according to the world have no comprehension concerning propriety in the eyes of God or mankind, because they have allowed their minds to be hardened. Constant exposure to evil can deaden normal gauges of morality and refinement.

Happily, we learn there is a way to change. How? By the renewing of our minds, we can “put on the new man, that after God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth” (Eph. 4:20-24). The question is: What can we do to renew our minds?

There is only one way – by an examination of God’s truth. First, there must be an honest heart that will allow the word of God to take root therein (Lk. 8:15). Then, we must learn the truth of Christ (vv. 20-21). If we do not study our Bibles regularly, we will become progressively less concerned with the things of God. Study involves more than mechanically preparing a lesson to teach. It means putting the Word into our hearts, souls, and minds (Ps. 119:11). It means becoming so saturated with the ways of the Lord so that his ways become our ways.

As we study how to live an enlightened life (cf. Eph. 4:25-5:5; 1 Pet. 2:9), we will come to understand such words as purity and goodness. There are three Greek words translated by our English word “pure.” Hagnos is defined by W.E. Vine as pure from defilement, not contaminated. He defines katharos as “pure, as being cleansed” and eilikrines as that which “signifies unalloyed, pure;” it was used of “unmixed substances” (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, Nashville, Tennessee, Thomas Nelson, 1997, pp. 903-904).

Our understanding of the English word “pure” includes all of these ideas. The wonderful subtleties of the Greek language help us to comprehend what God expects of us. We are to have unmixed motives, to seek him and his kingdom first (Mt. 6:33). We are be cleansed through the gospel plan, which continues to provide cleansing (Acts 2:38, 1 Jn. 1:9). And our lives are to be free from the defilement of the world (Ro. 12:1-2).

The truly cultured person possesses a goodness of heart. There are at least three Greek words that define this quality. There is agathos, which is the “goodness of character that is beneficial in its effect; goodness which is “morally honorable, pleasing to God, therefore beneficial.” Kalos refers to the quality of having intrinsic goodness, (goodly, fair, beautiful, such as the good and honest heart spoken of in Luke 8:15). And there is chrestos, used of persons who are kindly and gracious (Vine, pp. 493-494).

Even a cursory study of these words provides insight toward improving our daily walk. As we evaluate the worthy woman of Proverbs 31, we see that her characteristics embrace beneficial goodness as she extends her hands to the poor and needy. Her sense of humor and confidence, her wisdom and kindness, create respect and love for her on the part of her family and others. Such a woman is kind and gracious, never vulgar or coarse in conversation or behavior.

Let us strive to be women of loveliness in spirit. May our lives be beneficial, so that we will grow in favor with God and our fellowman (Lk. 2:52). May we walk before others with godly seemliness so that the gospel will shine through us (2 Pet. 2:11).

Let us become cultured and refined gentle-ladies. And we will be – when we allow the word of God to influence our senses and sensibilities.