Abraham Lincoln was nicknamed “Honest Abe.” His honesty was illustrated when, as a young man, he worked as a store clerk. He once unintentionally overcharged a woman six cents. When he discovered the mistake, he walked two miles to return the money to her.

What causes one to be honest? Two ideas: an abiding belief in a God who holds people accountable, and the conviction that all human beings have intrinsic value. Though some irreligious people may borrow from these concepts, and practice some level of honesty, the truly good and honest heart will not exist without them.

How can we see to it that our children develop honest hearts? Secular and religious educators alike observe that children reflect parental influence. Consider this wonderful poem by Laura E. Richards (as quoted by William Bennett in: The Moral Compass).

Little Eyes Upon You

There are little eyes upon you and they’re watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager to do anything you do;
And a little boy who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s idol, you’re the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you no suspicions ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly, holds all that you say and do.
He will say and do, in your way, when he’s grown up like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you’re always right;
And his eyes are always opened, and he watches day and night.
You are setting an example every day in all you do.
For the little boy who’s waiting to grow up to be like you.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). What a tremendous responsibility! These words of parental duty should weigh on our hearts every day. Yet, this verse also promises a blessing. More could enjoy this blessing by working God’s way.

We must come to realize that how we live daily in our homes is the major way our children develop belief in God, and how they learn to value other human beings (Dt. 6:4-7).

How can we teach our children to have honest hearts? These suggestions are offered with the prayer that they will be helpful.

Lead your child to a deep belief in God

Teach about God and his Word. Begin when your child is young (2 Tim.3:15). Little children enjoy learning short memory verses, brief readings of Bible stories, and devotional times with mom and dad.. Keep the child’s age and attention-span in mind. Be creative with activities that will reinforce the lessons you teach. Show the many evidences of God, as seen through his creation (i.e., a spider web, a bird and nest, animals, baby siblings, his own wonderfully and fearfully-made little body - Ps. 139:14).

Persuade your mate about the importance of family Bible time.

Your children should witness your personal dedication to Bible study.

Be a praying family. Children can learn to word prayers - even before they really understand. How wonderful it would be that a child not remember a time when prayer was not a part of his life.

As your children grow, realize that their spiritual development is still your responsibility. The Bible class teacher can provide supplemental teaching. But spiritual development cannot flourish with only a couple of hours (or less) of study each week.

Love for God should be expressed in faithful, active service within the local congregation. Establish bonds with the church as a family. Joyfully attend the worship services (Heb. 10:24-26). Be sure that your children attend worship and Bible study with you.

Leading a child to God involves stressing his love, for love propagates love (1 Jn. 4:19).

Love your children

This seems so obvious that, on the surface, it appears ridiculous to even mention it. However, Paul instructed Titus to instruct the older women to teach young women to “love their children” (Tit. 2:4). In the ancient culture of Crete, loving little children had almost become a lost art. This evil also manifests itself in our day. The Greek word used by Paul is phileo, being defined as “tender affection” (W.E. Vine). Little children are affectionate generally. This appears to show their need for the demonstration of tender affection. The bumper sticker, “Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?,” illustrates the realization that in this hustle-bustle lifestyle we have chosen, we fail to hug and kiss our kids as much as we ought.

Family love is something to treasure and enjoy. Relax, play and laugh together. Learn to enjoy the simple of things of life. Make happy memories.

Show love through praise. How woefully foolish it is to withhold praise. In some of the letters to the seven churches of Asia (in the book of Revelation), the Lord used praise to encourage Christians - even with those who needed correction (Rev. 2:2-3, 9, 12-13).

The carefully-nurtured bond of love may be the key that keeps your child from making wrong choices. Who wants to disappoint those dearly loved?

Love your spouse

If there is bitterness in the home, there will be problems (Heb. 12:15). How can an environment of discord facilitate the development of honest hearts in our children?

Do your very best to keep promises (2 Cor. 1:17-18)

Be cautious about making off-handed statements that can be taken as promises. This isn’t always easy to avoid. When you are justifiably unable to carry out what you had hoped, carefully explain this to your children. Repeatedly breaking promises will cause children to lose trust, and to develop problems with believing that honesty is important.

Teach your child that lying, stealing and cheating are wrong

Talk calmly with him about these things. Little children will utter non-truths before they really understand that such is wrong. This isn’t to be confused with the natural “pretending” that young children frequently do.

Don’t set them up for lying. When you know they have disobeyed, be careful about asking them if they disobeyed. Children will speak quickly out of fear. It is possible to train our children to lie without intending to do so. Confront them more directly.

As our youngsters grow older, we need to be tough when they do not tell the truth. Honesty is extremely vital to spiritual development. Teach your children that our Heavenly Father is displeased when we do wrong. Use Bible lessons about truth, and age-appropriate secular stories that teach good morals.

Teach your child respect for your authority (Eph. 6:1)

Be personally deserving of that respect (Eph. 6:4). We can violate the innate sense of fairness in our offspring, so as to cause them to resent us, and, eventually, God as well. Realize that the immediate disciplinary act is more than merely correcting inappropriate behavior. It is a teaching tool for training the heart. Fear alone will not sustain obedience, nor develop the good and honest heart.

Good discipline (training) of children is not easy. Adults have many distracting responsibilities. However, we must be sure to remember that training obedience is more important than anything we can do for our families. Teaching disobedience, by failing to see to it that we are obeyed, could have dire consequences.

In spite of contemporary ideas, the Bible still teaches that controlled spanking is a valid form of discipline. While spanking ought to be used sparingly - especially as a child’s comprehension grows - it should be used when the situation demands it. The child who deliberately, looks you in the eye and disobeys may need the persuasion that only a spanking can bring. This is especially true when things are out of hand , and when disobedience becomes more frequent.

Be reasonable in your methods of discipline. Discipline should never be abusive - either physically or emotionally. One writer has stated that we need not always approach our child with the methods of a prosecuting attorney. For instance, a child may forget to do something. A reminder may be all that is necessary. If one treats every infraction as a major violation, he jeopardizes his training efforts. Note the principle of Proverbs 18:19, concerning offending another person. “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city?” (ESV). This applies even to our children. Emotional pain can blind one to truth.

Be willing to listen to your child. (Jas. 1:19-20)

Give him opportunity to say that he is sorry for his wrong-doing. Wisely extend mercy when the child is genuinely penitent. Forgiveness is what the gospel is about (1 Jn. 1:9). Correction is more than forcing right behavior. Our goal is to train the heart to be honest, admit wrongs, and make corrections. Consequences still may need to follow, but tender compassion can co-exist with those consequences.

Apologize to your child when you have wronged him (Jas. 5:16)

A prideful parent, who refuses to admit wrong and truly repent (change of mind resulting in change of action), robs his child of a training situation. Your humble and honest heart will impact him.

And while you are apologizing, learn to forgive yourself. No sensitive parent will pass through the child-rearing years without regret for the way some things were handled. Grow with your children. Read books on parenting as you work through this great and wonderful task.

Teach your child to work, with both diligence and integrity (Prov. 13:4)

Patiently train him to do his tasks well, according to his ability and age (cf. Col. 3:22-23). Learning a sense of responsibility will work toward an honest disposition.

Teach your child the golden rule by word and deed (Mt. 7:12)

Allow your children to accompany you as you render some service for a fellow Christian or neighbor. Show that service to God involves loving and serving others.

Be careful what you say. In his book, Honesty, Morality and Conscience, Jerry White addresses honest communication in the home. He suggests that gossip, whether the malicious spreading of untruths or violations of confidentiality, is harmful to developing honesty.

Such a brief article cannot address everything pertinent to this topic. However, in Matthew 22:32-38 our Lord summed it all up. If, by every action possible, we demonstrate to our children that we love God with each fiber of our being; if we show that no material thing or no individual will stand in the way of our deep commitment to him; if we, by every possible action, show that we love our neighbor (our child), and other neighbors - everything will turn out just fine.

We must be able to trust our Heavenly Father to guide us, by means of our diligent study of his Word. The principles we need, to develop the honest and good heart in our children, are found in the Scriptures (2 Tim. 3:16-17).

May the Lord bless you, as you parent your children.