The “worthy woman” has been extolled to encourage each of us as women to reach our fullest potential in every possible area of endeavor. The woman of Proverbs 31:10ff was not a specific person, but the kind of wife a mother desired for her son. However, there have been many godly women who have patterned their lives after that lofty ideal.

Frederick Louis Godet made this pungent statement, “What we do with ours while we have them will be precisely what will render their memory sweet to the heart when we no longer have them” (Dictionary of Thoughts, p. 278).

Another wrote, “The happiness of life may be greatly increased by small courtesies in which there is no parade, whose voice is too still to tease and which manifest themselves by tender and affectionate looks, and little kind acts of attention”(Louis Sterne(Dictionary of Thoughts, p. 278).

Kindness should be a word that brings memories of a mother or wife. Those of us who have children know that there are times when that is not an easy task. However, the result of agape love removes from one’s heart a focus upon self. When children disobey or are neglectful, they are not doing something “to you.” Weariness of the flesh can make a mother feel that such is so. However, we must remember that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. They are not yet wise!

Typical childish behavior involves forgetfulness due to the pursuit of play and innate self-centeredness. Children are not born with a complete understanding of what others need. So it is hardly productive to present a hard-shell sternness that does not teach the heart of the child.

The woman who wants to serve God and be a worthy woman, one worthy of praise from God and family, will pursue kindness. Women who bear children usually are young, though in recent times more women in their 30’s and early 40’s are bearing children, due to the career orientation of most women. Some have barely learned to be sacrificial and kind when they are put upon to serve others. The kindness that involves effort, and stretching one’s energy and patience to the maximum, is most laborious to the mother who is little more than a teen-aged individual herself.

What motivates one to be kind?

God is kind. He has demonstrated his kindness by the sacrifice of his Son (Tit. 3:4; Eph. 2:7). But why? John 3:16 holds the key. Because he loves us so much, he was willing sacrifice his Son. Moreover, the Son was willing to give himself, because he also loves us. (Jn. 15:13; 1 Jn. 3:16).

True love involves sacrifice. The sacrifice of one’s energy and efforts to rear children in the Lord will bring rich rewards in time. (cf. Prov. 31:28).

What does this all mean in real life? When a little child needs attention, what do you do? Is it, “Don’t bother me!”? Or, “Get out of here!”? Or, “I told you to?.”? Or do we look at the child and listen, to determine what it is he truly needs? Kindness may involve disciplinary action, or it may require some cuddling time. Are their days filled with tender looks, pats and hugs with warm words? Or is the nagging focus upon what the child doesn’t do right all day long? Do you acknowledge that you are listening, by looking at the child or making a response to his/her chatter? Or do you ignore him, hoping he will just go off and play?

Our hearts truly break for children who are verbally abused. Some may never be physically abused in any way. But parents who scream profanities, condescending words, or refuse to give tender affection are indeed abusive. The importance of the love bond between parents and children is so crucial to the spiritual wellbeing of our offspring.

The worthy woman has the law of kindness on her tongue (Prov. 31:26). This may mean that she is an instructor of God’s law of wisdom and kindness, or it could indicate that she rules her own tongue with kindness. Either is instructive.

There is a little story of quarreling siblings who were urged by their mother to be kind. They asked what “kind” means, when she explained, they inquired, “Do we know anyone like that?” If someone asked your children if you were a kind mother, what might they say? Perhaps the little poem that follows would be worth having our children memorize.

Little deeds of kindness, Little words of love, Help to make earth happy, Like the Heaven above.

Julia Fletcher Carney (1845)

While you have them, are you storing sweet memories for your child? “If you make children happy now, you will make them happy twenty years hence by the memory of it.” (Kate Wiggins quoted in Circle of Love, p. 31).

Sources

Tyron Edwards (1901 ed.), Dictionary of Thought (Detroit, MI: F. B. Dickerson Company).

Amy Nappa & Jody Brolsma (1999), Circle of Love, A Devotional for Mothers (Uhrichsville, OH: Barbour Publishing Inc.).

Related Articles/Audio:

Wayne Jackson (2004), The Magic of Kindness (Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications), http://www.christiancourier.com/archives/magicOfKindness.htm

Wayne Jackson (2000), The Great Need For Kindness (Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications), http://www.christiancourier.com/audio/kindness.htm

Wayne Jackson (2005), The “Philanthropic” Nature of Christianity (Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications), http://www.christiancourier.com/archives/philanthropicNatureOfChrist.htm

Wayne Jackson (1999), The Challenge of Agape Love, (Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications), http://www.christiancourier.com/archives/agape.htm