After being married to the most wonderful man in the world for nearly fifty years, we found that he had an irreversible disease, but that he might have two or three years of life left on this earth. We decided between us that we would make the most of whatever time we had together. We celebrated our fifty-second anniversary on June 6. He died twenty-four days later on June 30, 1992. Truly “the Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).

Anchor For Our Souls

Fortunately, we both had been Christians since almost the first of our married life, and our faith had grown mightily in those years together. Our very favorite chapter in the Old Testament, Psalm 73, became the anchor to our very souls. We had read this chapter together and had read and reread it over and over. That chapter speaks of the goodness of God and He is indeed good. He it is who is in control of the entire universe, including our time together.

Psalm 73 begins with the thought that the writer was not so sure that being righteous was paying off for him. He could see that many who were unrighteous were seemingly prosperous, having no regrets or sorrows for their sins. It seems he felt God was blessing the wicked perhaps more than He was the righteous. His state of mind led him to lose faith and confidence in his Maker and he apparently felt that he should not communicate his feelings to others because it might shake their faith also.

But the most beautiful thing happened when he entered the sanctuary of the Lord. There, he came to the understanding of truth. Yes, things looked dark as he was seeing them; but he came to understand that in the end, the righteous would be justified and in a saved condition, whereas the unrighteous would stand in peril.

Wherever that sanctuary of the Lord was which the psalmist entered, he gained a sense of knowing that being close to the Father is not only pleasant, it is very profitable for the righteous. This entire chapter can give each of us an assurance that when we stay faithful to the Lord, we will be able to enter His refuge and remain there for eternity!

Besides this, we knew that in Psalm 116:15 David wrote, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” With our faith firmly fixed on these scriptures, along with many others, we were assured there is a place of constant rest and peace that awaits us all, sooner or later. Because of the bright pictures we can see in God’s word for our future, no Christian should ever fear death.

The Love of My Life

There were many times on his journey toward heaven that I just could not believe that the Lord would take the love of my life from me. I prayed hard that it was not so —but after a while, I had to accept the fact that his journey was fast going downhill. It was then that I could pray that his suffering would soon be complete and he could join the Lord. It seems to me that the Lord acted in deep deliberation in bringing his life to a close, and that it was in his best interest to leave this world after years of preaching to, and converting, so many lost ones to Christ.

We spent hours in each other’s arms weeping and praying for each other. I am still most grateful to him for these times with our sharing and our openness of communication on the fact that he was dying. He knew how hard it would be for me to lose him and live my life alone. My place had been with him for so long, no matter what he was doing.

An Uphill Road

After he was gone, it was an uphill road for a long time, until I finally convinced myself that facts are facts. I had to accept my plight of being a widow. He was not coming back, I kept telling myself. After my acceptance of that fact, I kept myself as busy as possible. I went back to work part-time where I had worked for fourteen years as a public relations person for a local optometrist. There remained enough time for me to continue visiting the sick, picking up food at the deli for the sick and bereaved, preparing Bible lessons to teach on Sunday morning, etc. Staying busy is my goal, even now fourteen years later.

There were some tasks that completely became my responsibility after he had gone. For one thing, I had to learn to keep my monthly bills paid without his support. I have formed a habit of sitting down and writing a check for each bill as it arrives and getting it in the mail quickly. Another task that must be done is the filing of yearly income taxes. We had always worked on this together, but he had done most of the real detailed parts of it. Even though it is a big task every year, I can prepare my income tax report and have confidence that it is correct! One other task that I remember having to learn was that the car would not run if the gas tank is empty. He had always done that for me, but now I have become an old pro!

Life Is Exciting!

But let me tell you honestly and truthfully, I still love male companionship. I have been blessed by several male friends for whom I have had the utmost respect, and they have meant a great deal to me. As far as I know right now, I have not met the man with whom I would like to spend my limited time on earth. But if I should find him, there would be no hesitation on my part in becoming a loving dedicated wife again. If that man does not come along, I shall proceed on my journey toward heaven, knowing that life does go on and I shall still find it very exciting, even at the age of eighty-four! So, if you are a widow or widower, and you find the right person, why not go for it? No matter how young or old you are!

About The Author

Mildred Jergins is a faithful member of the Central Church of Christ in Clearwater, Florida. She is a cheerful and energetic woman. She has written articles and a study series for Christian Woman Magazine.