Faithful Christians recognize the stark reality that we live in a world out of control. Every vice known to man is not only practiced, but lauded as good by many. The prophet’s descriptive of those who could not blush (Jeremiah 6:15) certainly applies in these modern times. We are plagued with a generation of people who are darkened in their understanding (Ephesians 4:18). The only solution for getting out of this abyss of darkness is enlightenment through the word of God (Ephesians 1:18), with the desire and determination to do what is right.

How did the church become so infiltrated with the morality problems of the world? Having pondered this matter, these principles of Scripture are shared with the hope that we can steer some from the quicksand and mire of shallowness and from living by dark passions.

The wise man said, “It is not good to eat much honey. So for men to search out their own glory is grievous. He whose spirit is without restraint is like a city that is broken down and without walls” (Proverbs 25:27-28).

The First Sin Was Committed With Food

Have you ever considered the fact that the first sin was committed with food? Eating is not always a good thing. The wise man said that consuming too much honey isn’t a good thing. It can make one ill. As we consider this matter, we need to see the broader scope in this theme of temperance.

When children are small, they will eat sweets before nourishing foods, if allowed. They may eat with abandon, if permitted. As we try to restrain them, what example are we setting? It is hard in these busy times to be as careful as we should about our nutrition. Few of us would deny that we could do better with our food choices and the portions we consume. Certainly, many of us battle the problem of those few extra pounds.

What does this have to do with the problem we introduced at the outset? It may have more to do with it than we realize. We have a generation of young people in America and in other “industrialized” nations, who have “raised” themselves. While this article is not suggesting that a woman may never work outside the home, for some must, we are saying that there are often consequences, even when we make choices that we must.

Many young adults have grown up without much supervision. The latch key kid can have access to anything he wants during the absence of his parents. Without significant restraints, and with the luxuries that many children have these days, self-control is not being taught sufficiently in many homes. What is more, many children have learned to manipulate so that parents do not learn what they have been doing while they were unsupervised.

So the “eating of too much honey” and indulging in many other superfluencies, may develop a child who is self-centered, manipulative, and with little self-control. Some children grow up feeling they are too good to do any kind of manual labor, and they aren’t too keen on “non-manual” labor. If a family produces several children with morality problems, one must ask why. We do not intend to over-simplify, nor to suggest that in every case, parents are to blame. We live in a wretchedly wicked society. Our children are free to make choices, and being saturated with the world through contact with wicked people, they sometimes make bad choices.

Learning Self-control Is Key

Parents who are "in debt up to their eyeballs,” who live in homes they cannot afford, who drive cars they cannot afford, who treat each other hatefully, etc., are setting the stage. Parents who cannot stay on task to finish work, who cannot carry out the responsibilities of the day (e.g. holding a job, preparing meals, doing the laundry, and keeping a reasonably clean home) are likely raising children who have little self-restraint.

When a child grows up without learning self-control, he develops an attitude of: “I want what I want when I want it.” Sin knocks at the door and he lets it in.

A City Without Walls

In ancient times, walls were tremendously important to the protection of a city. A city without walls was defenseless. Enemies of every kind could enter in and wreck havoc upon the people. An individual who cannot restrain his spirit (control himself) is like that city. Satan can send every kind of temptation and the person who has not learned self-control will be captured.

So what can we do? First, we must look inward. Are the walls of our “cities” strong?

In his homiletic on this passage, W.F. Adeney comments on the lack of self-control.

"We need to see what this condition really is. Every man is permitted in a large measure to be his own sovereign. No tyrant can invade the secret sanctuary of his thoughts. His ideas, passions and will are his own. Moreover, God has given us the freedom of will, so that we can give the rein on our passions or restrain them. The inner man is like a city full of life. We are each called upon to keep order in our own cities, and if we do not respond to the call, the result will be riotous confusion. There are wild beasts within that must be chained and caged, or they will break loose and ravage the streets—murderous propensities that must be shut in a deep dungeon; ugly and vile tendencies to sin that need to be crushed lest they usurp the control of the life. When the will is not fortified and exercised against these evil things, we suffer from lack of self-control” (Pulpit Commentary, (1962), Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, p. 489).

When the apostle Paul stood before Felix, the Roman governor over Judah, he “reasoned of righteousness, and self-control, and the judgment to come” (Acts 24:25). Wayne Jackson comments upon the word self-control:

“The Greek term is enkrateia, deriving from krat denoting power or lordship, thus implying the exercise of rule over one’s self. It is the opposite of unrestrained self-indulgence. In the New Testament the usage is not merely that of personal discipline. Rather, the term suggests that one’s life is to be directed by God’s will?" (The Acts of the Apostles from Jerusalem to Rome, (2000) Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications, p. 333).

We must teach our children self-control from their earliest years. The most powerful training tool that parents possess is that of their example. A godly parent, who is not given to selfish whims, whose life is characterized by whole-hearted seeking of God’s will has a greater impact for good than a worldly, lukewarm Christian.

Parents who just let their children “raise themselves” will suffer. A child left to himself, will bring shame and disgrace to his parents and to himself. (cf. Proverbs 29:15). Godly discipline requires teaching self-control. Mothers have said, “I spank him, but it doesn’t do any good.” Such a mother doesn’t get it! Parents must learn that to teach their children self-control, they must be in control of the child. This isn’t an ego trip for parents, but a training of the hearts of our children.

Discipline Is More Than Spanking

However, when spanking is administered, there is a right and effective way to do it. (See Suggested Reading.) Spanking can be given in a loving and biblical manner. Since many have not had role models in their own parents, time spent studying how God expects us to train children is worth the investment.

Homes are in such danger in these times. Spouses may fall from the Father’s grace, leaving a mother or father alone to raise the children in the Lord. No matter how painful the faithful spouse may find his/her circumstances, the primary task has to be helping those children learn what is right. That cannot be done without studying the Scriptures. Serving God is more important than losing a spouse. The trauma of such a loss ought not be minimized. However, heartache must not cause a parent to abandon or neglect spiritual obligations. We must take note of how serious it is in God’s eyes when the lifestyle of parents tempts their children to fall into sinful ways (cf. Luke 17:1-2). Happy or not, we must keep in mind that the whole purpose for our creation is to serve him (cf. Ecclesiastes 12:13, Amplified Bible, http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes%2012:12-13;&version=45 ).

Raising children isn’t easy. Yet, a home can be happy and peaceful. Indeed, children are a heritage or gift of the Lord (Psalm 127:3). We must strive, or agonize to seek the way of the Lord at every hurdle, keeping in mind that Jesus is our Savior, with whom we will spend eternity, if we are faithful (1 Timothy 4:10). He will be proud of us for growing spiritually in spite of the hard things of this life (cf. 2 Thessalonians 1:4-5). We will be additionally blessed if we share eternal bliss with our Father—along with our children.

Suggested Reading:

Dr. James Dobson, Does Spanking Work For All Kids, http://www.family.org/parenting/A000001547.cfm;

To Spank or Not To Spank, http://www.family.org/parenting/A000001548.cfm; How To Shape Your Child’s Will, http://www.family.org/parenting/A000001164.cfm

Betty Jackson, Disciplining Children I, http://www.women-of-hope.com/2005/06/26/discipliningChildrenPart I

Jason Jackson, Will Our Children Trust the Lord, http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/will_our_children_trust_in_the_lord

Jason Jackson, Who’s The Boss, http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/whos_the_boss

Jason Jackson, Parents, Obey Your Father, http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/parents_obey_your_father

Jason Jackson, Building Character Before the Concrete Sets, http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/building_character_before_the_concrete_sets

Wayne Jackson, Fortifying the Faith of Our Children, http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/fortifying_the_faith_of_our_children

Wayne Jackson, Will Properly Trained Children Never Go Wrong? http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/will_a_properly_trained_child_never_go_wrong